Your Next Big
Everyday we miss opportunities. I witness it everyday,
and am often reminded how I could have missed the biggest opportunity
in my life. I watch others how they miss their opportunities to
invest, opportunities to love, opportunities to be loved, opportunities
to give, opportunities to receive, opportunities to forgive, opportunities
to save on tax dollars, and even opportunities to witness their
own missed opportunities! But the greatest opportunity in my life
was and continues to be tinnitus.
For me, tinnitus was a life changing, life altering, mind-blowing
opportunity. It gave me the biggest opportunity of my life - an
opportunity to learn, grow and become a better human being. Now,
tinnitus continues to flower my life, and continues to seed more
opportunities in my life, such as the opportunity to mentor, to
teach and coach others.
For a long time I saw tinnitus as an enemy, a negative energy force
in my life that would systematically destroy my will to live. Actually,
the ringing would actually awaken me to a new reality filled with
endless oceans of opportunity.
I have no medical evidence of this, but I would say that tinnitus
probably affects those people who have had to confront many “fear
based opportunities” in their lifetime. If you interview people
with tinnitus, you’ll see that many of them live fear based
lives. They worry a lot, or have experienced some sort of trauma,
or deal with serious ailments (emotional or physical).
More and more studies are now indicating that tinnitus is not actually
a ringing of the ears, but rather a ringing of the brain. And the
part of the brain that lights up on the technology map, is the part
of the brain that experiences fear. Is this coincidence?
It would explain why some people experience some relief using prescription
drugs for depression. It numbs the fear processes. However, if you
think you are going to handle fear through chemicals, that’s
not the answer either.
Tinnitus is the opportunity for you to learn, grow and begin of
your NEW life as a new person. The more you resist the change, the
more the fear will control your life; therefore, the tinnitus will
continue to throw up all your fears at you. Such as, the fear of
not getting better, the fear of living, the fear of failing, the
fear of trying.
The way I did it, the way I healed my tinnitus, was to heal the
parts of myself that was fearful and in pain. It didn’t take
one day. It took 4 years before I began to really get it. And, sometimes,
I still see the opportunity to learn and heal those parts of myself
that cause me pain (and fear).
Just yesterday, two people walked out from my seminar. I was teaching
internet marketing, but the first hour, I dedicate to personal development.
There is no point teaching a man to fish if the man has no motivation
to fish. My ideas sometimes challenge some people. Still, when they
walk out, my ego goes straight to fear and starts the little voice
saying things like “see, your still not perfect!”.
I really don’t aspire to be perfect (well maybe at the piano),
but the truth of it is, my fear of not living up to someone’s
else’s expectations still haunt me. It takes practice for
me to let it go. I usually just practice not going to the fear by
reminding myself “it’s not my stuff, that’s their
stuff”. If my intention is authentic, then why bother go to
Having faith in something helps tremendously. I married a Catholic
woman whose parents are staunch Catholics. I’m a minister’s
son raised in the United Church. Not wanting to offend anybody,
and having a lot of fear about the outcome, we didn’t go through
the ceremony of baptism for our son.
I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but no one ever said anything!
Our faith and belief systems play a large role in our lives. It’s
not something we practice on Sundays in a place of brick and mortar.
We live “it” everyday.
And there are two things I practice with deep awareness. I practice
being grateful for the things I do have in my life. The second thing
is I practice being aware of my fear based energies, reactions,
words, actions, attitudes, beliefs, etc. I don’t focus on
my fears. I just choose to be aware of my fears when they come up.
Recognizing my fears gives me the opportunity to choose a different
thought or feeling, hence changing my life.
I have the two reminders on the wall next to the toilet! No kidding.
They are blue plastic cards pinned up next to the roll. So everyday,
first thing in the morning I see the question: “What are you
grateful for? And “What opportunities can you be aware of
Gratitude and awareness - it’s that simple. Just be aware
that the opportunities in your life are abundant. You just need
to awaken to be able to recognize them. Tinnitus is one of those
opportunities in your ocean of opportunities.
Paul Tobey is a professional motivational speaker who has performed many seminars for ringing ears sufferers and is author of Tinnitus Free Living a Tinnitus Handbook Self Help Guide which helps people reduce their tinnitus volume.