Can You Learn
to Be Happy?
I’d like to share with you a phone call
that I received recently from Susan (pseudo-name) who lives Myrtle
Beach, South Carolina.
She had called me in regards to my tinnitus-free-living
program. She had some questions about the program and of
course wondered if she should get it or not. In other words, would
it work for her?
So, naturally I had some questions of my own. I found out that
she has had tinnitus for over 15 years and that it had severely
affected the quality of her life. Without going into great detail,
she has attempted suicide as a result of her tinnitus and has taken
anti-depressants as well as sleeping pills in order to get a night’s
Now, her story is not an uncommon story, I hear it all the time.
But what struck me about our conversation that I’d like to
share with you was when I asked her this question, “Have you
ever been happy?”
Immediately following this question was a lengthy pause to which
she responded, “No, I don’t think so.”
So, my next question was, “Do you know that it’s simply
a choice that you make?” I was trying to get her to see that
her unhappiness was caused by her and not the tinnitus. She of course
was not convinced. But, I kept at it and eventually asked her another
question which floored her.
I asked, “Has anyone ever taught you HOW to be happy?”
Well, I thought she was going to fall off her chair and drop the
phone. I could sense that there was this sudden realization that
– NO – no one had ever taught her how to be happy. Not
her parents, not her teachers and not anyone that she ever new.
So, I responded, “My program will teach you how to be happy.
That’s its main purpose.”
I went on to explain that the more happy you are, the more you
are in control of your tinnitus. And, eventually if you keep it
up, your tinnitus will literally fade into a distant memory.
I taught her a phrase which I use constantly in my life, “I
choose to be happy now.”
The problem is that as humans, we are conditioned to expect better
things in our lives so that we can be happy. So, we’re always
waiting for better conditions to arrive. Somehow, they never do.
When you look to the future for something to happen that will make
you happy, you will always be disappointed. Why? Because you miss
the only time there ever is and that is the NOW!
When the future arrives it will be now. But, most people keep looking
towards it for something to happen that will change the way they
feel. But, you can only change the way you feel right now.
When I told the woman on the phone that my program can teach her
to be happy, she couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. She
obviously had more questions but in her mind it seemed to me that
it was more important for her to learn how to be happy than even
worrying about her tinnitus.
If you wait for your tinnitus to get better in order to feel good
and be happy, you will never get there. You can only be happy now.
And, if you can’t – you must!
Make it the most important decision that you can ever make. Choose
it, live it and do it now.
Paul Tobey is a professional motivational speaker who has performed
many seminars for tinnitus
sufferers and is author of Tinnitus Free Living a which helps
people reduce their tinnitus