Are you a chronic tinnitus sufferer and with thoughts or feelings of suicide? Please consult your medical doctor right away and ask for help. There are treatments available to help you on this difficult journey. I know, because I’ve been down that road. Chronic tinnitus feels like a nightmare and can lead to suicidal thoughts. Having said that, your life situation can change for the better. There are things you can to do that will improve your life situation. The road to recovery is possible.
The following Tinnitus Story about my Journey with Tinnitus (ringing in ears) appeared in the the June 2006 Edition of Tinnitus Today published by the American Tinnitus Association. I hope it inspires you to find the help you deserve!
“My Choice” by Paul Tobey – Copyright Paul Tobey May 2006
I have devoted my life to the study of sound. I am not a physicist, a doctor, a scientist, nor an audiologist. I am a master of sound, an accomplished concert pianist. Since the age of eight, I’ve studied the relationship between the body and the vibration of musical notes. What I couldn’t have known is that one day I would deeply yearn for the one note I would never hear again – the note of “no sound.”
Perhaps the tinnitus was caused by all of those over-the-counter decongestants I was taking for my flu, or maybe it was the stress of being at the pinnacle of my performing career, or maybe it was the news that my wife, Nancy, was giving up a good paying job, or a combination thereof. Whatever it was, one night I dreamt I was sitting on an airport tarmac between two jet engines. When I woke up, I realized this noise wasn’t just a dream. It was in my head! I rolled off the bed onto the floor in a fetal position with hands over my ears.
Over the next few weeks, I begged doctors to help me. My journey of hope began with visits to family doctors, referrals, and audiologists. Weeks turned into years with more research leading my wife and me to more doctors, shamans, and dozens of healers around the world. We live in Canada, but traveled to as far away as Japan.
What started as my journey of hope turned into a dark and painful life with bouts of deep depression. The tinnitus sabotaged my music, my marriage, and sometimes my very desire to live. The worst part was that because my injury was not visible to the world, people had no appreciation or ability to feel compassion for my suffering. I felt very alone. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Van Gogh cut off his ear to make his suffering visible to the world – not because he thought it would stop his tinnitus.
Believing no one in the world could understand my physical pain, or my emotional burden, I turned to the Internet only to find chat groups with more stories of chronic depression and misery. It became clear I wasn’t alone in my suffering, but it didn’t make me feel better about my situation. That was when my wife became the most afraid, and ordered me to stay out of the virtual company of these sufferers, and instead to stay abreast of research through the American Tinnitus Association.
I was so busy fighting the tinnitus and struggling to make it through the day, I barely noticed my wife’s struggle with my tinnitus too. I had no energy for her personal fight to keep me alive, or to fight the Canadian Hearing Association when they told me they couldn’t measure the volume of the noise I hear (higher than their instruments could measure). I had no strength to fight the audiologist who sold me “white noise/masking hearing aids” that, despite my discipline, hope, and full cooperation, didn’t work for me. I didn’t have the energy to fight other health professionals who tried to help but whose good ideas didn’t work. They got my money; I kept the tinnitus.
My last hope, or so I thought, was an audiologist and medical doctor team who specialized in treating musician’s hearing problems. Because I’m self employed, I have no drug insurance plan. Feeling for my situation, they gave me dozen packets of antidepressants. Feeling hopeful that maybe they would work, I poured the boxes out on the kitchen table. That’s when I noticed my wife’s anger and when she gave me the ultimatum: “Paul, either you choose to live your life on antidepressants, or you choose to face your disability and conquer it. If you choose to conquer it, you will live a happy life with me and Adrian [our son]. If you choose the antidepressants, you will miss your music and your family. It’ll all be gone.” She stood there with hands on hips and said, “You choose now, because I’m ready to live with whatever you choose.”
With my glimmer of hope turning into profound rage, I swept the table with my arm, and all the pill boxes flew around the room. My rage turned into deep sorrow for my loss of silence, and I bawled for the longest time, curled up on the floor. Nancy never came to comfort me. Maybe she knew I needed to let go of my rage. She watched standing at a distance and repeated the words “You must choose now. It’s been four years, and you have to choose what you are going to do.” I sheepishly got up knowing that I would get no sympathy from her now. This was tough love. I picked up the packets, and began to flush the pills down the toilet.
I cried all night, mourning the fact that after four years, the tinnitus wasn’t going away. I had cried many times before, but this time was different. On this night, I began to surrender to the tinnitus. I knew the tinnitus would somehow have to become my new best friend.
But I wouldn’t be doing it alone. With Nancy and Adrian by my side, my tinnitus healthcare team at the ready, a new spiritual mentor into my life, I was introduced to books about the theory of mind, body, and spirit. I kept a journal of what I ate, how I lived, and my thought processes. Over a period of time, I learned by trial and error that I could control the volume of my tinnitus by completely eliminating wheat products, milk, caffeine, yellow vegetables, pork, salt, red wine, and citrus fruits from my diet, and introducing a high-protein diet of beef and certain types of beans, plus broccoli and other green vegetables. What I eat seems to control the volume of the tinnitus. I learned that exercise, sex, meditation, and playing the piano kept my mind off of the tinnitus for long stretches of time. I learned that my negative thought processes had kept me focused and addicted to my tinnitus, and that I could actually control my thoughts to take the focus off of my tinnitus. I learned that no one else in the world was empowered to heal me, and that I would ultimately be responsible for my own healing.
Seven years later, I am a completely new person. Tinnitus has transformed my life – in very positive ways. Because of the tinnitus, I have walked an 850km pilgrimage across Spain, produced spiritual films, composed symphony music, became a certified motivational trainer, and am currently writing my first book. I am healthier, wiser, more grounded, humbled, and very grateful for my life.
Because of the tinnitus, I now teach people how to find their inner strength and use it to conquer their mind’s attachment to illness, vulnerabilities, emotional burdens, and fears. And yet, with all of my professional credits, nothing in my life’s journey comes close to my personal accomplishment of conquering my tinnitus. No, I may never experience silence again. But tinnitus now serves as a beacon in my life. It is no longer the cruel enemy that once controlled me.
As a master of sound, I can tell you that the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard is the suspended space between two musical notes – that open space of “no sound,” of silence. It’s such a great gift. But I’ve learned that other profound gifts do come, and from the strangest forms of suffering. As my loving wife once said in one desperate attempt to save my life, “It’s your choice.” And so I’ve chosen.
For more information about Paul Tobey and Tinnitus visit
http://www.paultobey.com/tinnitus/
you might be interested in reading the recently published book entitled, The Ringing Sound. i found it intriguing in relation to tinnitus studies. peace
I have been battling Tinnitus for a few years and I must tell you it is Hell on Earth. I never dreamed ringing ears could be so hard to deal with. I am open to all suggestions on how to deal with it.
Thanks
T. Miles Lee
I am 29 years old and I have been living with tinnitus for ten years. I am not the same person i was before, even though I am still alive, tinnitus killed the girl I was. They said “learn to live with it”, unless I die trying.
For a short time my tinnitus almost drove me nuts. To make a long story short I realized I only had one choice – acceptance. Don\’t fight your tinnitus, accept it, embrace it (honestly). Less than a year later, I now laugh at my tinnitus, I make jokes about it. My ears ring steady but I am actually happier than I was before. You can be too. Just never give up believing it will happen and slowly you will get your miracle.
My friend’s father just killed himself because of his relentless tinnitus.
He was in his mid-sixty’s. Completely healthy, except for the tinnitus…..
She is going through hell wondering why her beloved dad could do such a thing.
Can anyone help me explain this disease and the subsequent suicidal tendencies thereof to her, in a way she can understand?
She’s hurting desperatley.
many thanks in advance,
Rachel
Hello Amanda -
Your comment on May 28th,2007 – I was very touched by your
comments.
That is exactly how I feel – since my tinnitus started for the 1st time 2 years ago – the person – the girl I was – died inside me
forever.
I am sure I will be dead within 2 months – I\’ve made all plans -
and this life is simply Hell On Earth – I can\’t bear it.
Cause of my Tinnitus: ear cancer surgery done by completely
inexperienced medical students – they destroyed me.
Amanda – I just wanted to tell you – that you are not alone -
I know how you feel.
Best wishes to you Amanda!
Tam Millican
taminkc@comcast.net
sometimes there is no relief. Ive been a musician 4 25years and its so fucking loud at the moment that not now but when you know that other sound in your head is enough is enough. this is not a cry for help but i have come to the understanding that my brain by b.s is activating too make up 4 the sound it nolonger hears., isnt it ironic. Ive hade have p.t.s.d sexual abuse alcohol addiction and now this 4 the last year. my reptillian id instinct the freudian death drive has licked in. Camus nietzsche etc, were right life is absurd. all the best az
I’m 22, and I got tinnitus 2 nights ago. I was at a nightclub with some friends, and I wasn’t in front of the speakers. I rarely go out or listen to loud music. The DJ must be deaf, or I just have…*had* hyper sensitive ears. I’ve lost a small percentage of hearing, maybe 15%, and it sounds like I’m underwater. I’m upset about that, but NOTHING compared to the constant ringing I hear. It sounds like a TV is on, but louder. I actually cried at work today. I can’t live with this. Is there a way to disable your ears entirely?
Hi J,
I would strongly advise you to visit a ears/nose and throat dr ASAP. Exposure to loud noise can cause ear damage and tinnitus, however, your symptoms are very NEW and can be as a result of something else entirely. The good news, is that in some cases, tinnitus may be temporary. Pls. consult a professional to see if your symptoms can be remedied. In some cases, they can.
I’m not sure what you are asking me when you ask ” Is there a way to disable your ears entirely?”. I’m not a medical professional, and this is a question for a professional. However, as a recovering tinnitus patient, I’ve heard lots of drama around this type of plan.
The famous artist Van Gogh cut off his ear in an attempt to stop the ringing in the ears, but that didn’t work. Some report that patients have cut their auditory nerve and still can hear the tinnitus. And some people who are completely “non-hearing” can still can “hear” tinitus. So, no, I don’t recommend that you disable your ears entirely. It’s not a good plan.
A better plan would be to take action and go through the process of finding out if your hearing loss is associated with your tinnitus.
If you wrote into this blog, it means you are looking for relief from your tinnitus NOW! There are temporary coping methods:
Put a fan in your office that runs all the time. Put one in your room. Keep an ipod around and listen to inspirational and motivational speakers…or to meditations while you sleep.
There are maskers you can buy, and lots of people will want to sell you drugs, or gadgets, or miracle cures. You can download a free tinnitus report on this website that will tell the top 6 things you can avoid to help your ringing ears.
Spiritual authur and teach Eckhart Tolle: just released an amazing book. I’m a huge fan of Eckhart as his book “The Power of Now” helped release me from the grip of suffering from Tinnitus. His second book, A New Earth has now drawn the attention of Oprah.
Consequently, Oprah is offering a free course, which I highly recommend to those coping with ringing in ears. I think if you look into this book or audio, this will help you cope and steer you towards answers you may be looking for.
Or, if you want my help, look into my tinnitus audio downloads and workbooks “Tinnitus Free Living”. My teachings come from my personal experience and have helped others on their journey towards healing.
Whatever you do, take action “now” towards healing. There is no mysterious force in the universe that causes random suffering. Therefore, you must find out what this call means to you, and how this will help you in your life’s journey.
Paul
I’m determined to find a solution. In this age of technology and advance medicine, there has to be an answer to this particular problem. Right now, I’m eating fruits, veggies and take an assortment of vitamins and minerals. I’ve found that Lipo-Flavonoids actually help and decrease the volume of tinnitus. I’m also using COQ10. Combined, they seem to have helped.I’m also exercising every day very hard – at least an hour and that always helps the ringing.
There are devices out there – most recently one came out of Australia from a a company named Neuromonics….cutting edge i-pod type device that can be customized to the pitch of the rining. AFter a 14 year clinical study, this device either cured or nearly cured everyone who used it.
My sister’s name is Tam – she posted a comment to this website (see above notes). This website seemed to help her with her tinnitus. I would like to see more solutions to this terrible ear condition posted to this website so that maybe it will help others.
Have suffered severe tinnitus 40+ years. There is no alleviation, or cure. It is nonsense, deception and greed offering you relief. Harshly honest, I proffer only three accomidations. Alcohol, sleeping pills, or…. We do not wish to go there…75% do. Cheers!
Pual, huge thanks for putting this up. I too am a musician and I developed tinnitus three months ago. I’ve had a lot of painful emotions recently that you were able to nail right on the head and put into words far better than I could. Right now I’m in a stage where I’m done with denial (had a similar night of letting it out) and trying to change things for the better. Tinnitus really is something you need to work with in order to continue your life. There is no way to avoid it. Once you work with it, you can start to return to how things were before. I know there is a huge feeling of, “Now things are different, I’m dead inside and can never go back”. Yes, things are different, but that doesn’t need to mean life can’t be fun and rewarding again. I’m at a stage where I’m learning to manage the tinnitus, and already I’m start to find that old familiar feeling called “happiness”.
One thing everyone can do is educate those around them about tinnitus. When you see a 10 year old banging away at the drums in his garage band, give him a spare pair of ear plugs (the ones I buy always come with multiple sets of plugs). With it’s level of impact on peoples live’s, tinnitus really is something people should be aware of and take active precautions.
After reading countless hours of peoples accounts of tinnitus, I felt it was my turn to give a little back. I too have thought about suicide, (what do you think I google searched to find this page?), but if you are still able to feel happiness (which I’m sure you can), there is still a reason to live.
Ringing in my ears came & went over 2-3 months but is now permanent & couldnt believe it at first, but now i do. Cant say i have accepted it but can say that it sucks & sometimes drives me crazy.Makes it hard to sleep & sometimes increases in volume like a high pitched jet taking off but covering my ears does nothing.I understand why it can make some people choose suicide.
Hi. I\’ve suffered many years and I live half a mile from Niagara Falls. I can feel it\’s rumble every day. And I know I can go jump in the river and go over anytime. However, here is my self-cure. Although I have to work in public everyday when I can I keep my shades drawn. I pretend that outside is a world of millions of giant crickets and that we all hear them and there is no escape. No matter where I am outside are trillions of crickets. They are not dangerous they are just there and we all suffer from the constant drone. Everything that everyone has posted is true as far as my own problem is concerned. When I think back and remember I how I got this horrific problem then it\’s not so irritating. Texas music every night. They were the best days and nights of my life and what I\’ve got is because of that. Just wish someone had mentioned I should\’ve wore ear plugs. Thanks for the blog Paul. Niles
Hi Niles,
Thank you so much for your post and your insight. I like the idea about the crickets, hadn’t thought of that one!
Keep in touch and feel free to post any other successes that you’ve had on the blog.
After doing this for so many years now it’s amazing how everyone who suffers from tinnitus has a different perspective.
All the best,
Paul Tobey
I am now 31 and have lived with this curse since I was 19 and although it is easier, it is not easy…I have a family and they are all I continue to live for…I tried to email the person who reponded to my comment however I recieved the message Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently…I am heartbroken to think that another life has been lost and fear I missed my chance to help, but I go on… if there are people out there who need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through and living with please feel free to email me at survivetinnitus (at) mail.com
I suffer Tinnitus in both my ears..
It’s loud ringing at times.
I have found cannabis to be of some help with knocking the ringing level down and helping me get a better nights sleep…
I have had tinnitus for 2 years after a very bad ear infection, which was wrongy treated by my local Hospital. I would give anything to have my peace of mind back.
I don’t know what to make of it and I’m certain it’s only temporary but for the moment, this wonderful wonderful moment I have no ringing in the ears. No crickets. I felt compelled to come here and share this with all of you who suffer. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy silence. I just washed every dish in the house. Maybe that’s my cure, washing ALL the dishes, being emersed in hot sudzy water. I don’t know. First thing I did was write to my girlfriend who is at work and told about this brief moment of silence (wonderfulness) and then I said I’m sorry if I complain too much when the ringing and crickets are too loud. perhaps this provides a glimmer of hope. I’m relishing the moment.
Well, it was great while it lasted. But it’s not as bad now as it has been for years on end. It’s there though. More cope-able this minute. I even wrote about it in my diary that I hardly write in anymore. I’m going to remember this day for a long long time. This day gave me a chance to make amends to those friends whom I’ve managed to push away. Let’s just say that I’m a better person today then I’ve been for a long long time.
To all,
I am Tam’s sister who wrote on this site about a year ago. She was my hero. Please support each other as the pain from this is so real. Any and all solutions that you find helpful would be a good idea.
“How to Live With It”
Instead of counting sheep at night, imagine all the celebrities and great thinkers and creators who also have or have had tinnitus. Think of that sound as something that now puts you on the wavelength of this exclusive and fabulous group. It’s Barbra Streisand, Steve Martin, Van Gogh, Beethoven, David Letterman and you.
Start to notice how there’s actually no such thing as total silence. There’s always noise of some kind. This sound is just another in an ongoing symphony of background noise: there are cars on the street, the burbling of a fish tank, the radiator, and so on.
Pretend that you are now living on a planet where everyone hears this sound all the time and accepts it as normal.
If it interferes with your thinking, talk to it like a child who is trying to get your attention. Say: “OK, I hear you. Now I have to focus on something important. Goodbye!” Don’t be scared of it or focus obsessively and fearfully on it. That will make the whole experience worse. If you acknowledge and then dismiss it, it will get quieter.
Many psychics and clairvoyants say that ringing of the ears puts you on the wavelength of the spiritual world. Some regard this as a gift.
Yoga is a great way to relieve tension. Find a teacher whose style you feel comfortable with. There are many, many types of wonderful yoga teachers out there now. If you’re in a class with a teacher whose style you don’t like, keep looking. Becoming aware of the whole beautiful mechanism you call your body takes the emphasis off the constant input you’re getting from your ears. The yoga teacher I found who I feel comfortable with is really low key and plays Radiohead, Beck and Bjork in the class. If you haven’t been fit or active, it’s good to get into a good relationship with your body.
Buy an ipod and program it with your favorite music. Listen to as much music as you can—appreciate the gift that your ears still give you continuously. Be overindulgent with yourself in terms of music. Loving what your ears can do will take the edge off of being upset with the ringing.
If you’ve just gotten tinnitus, buy a clock radio that you can program with your favorite song to wake up to in the morning. This will take the edge of feeling depressed when you realize that “it’s still there.”
Some foods do make it louder, but in my opinion, who cares? Enjoy the food.
Indulge and appreciate your other senses. Take fragrant bubble baths, walk in nature, go to museums. Add exciting new experiences to your life. Travel. Take cooking classes, gymnastics, dance, writing classes. Get out and see friends and family. Make tinnitus the “soundtrack to your new and fabulous life.” Make it be the thing that motivates you not to be complacent in life.
I adopted four kittens—they keep me busy all the time, taking the focus off myself. They are so beautiful to look at, soft and loving, and watching them curl up and sleep has successfully helped me be able to take naps again.
When you feel like it, mention it to some close friends that you have this. You may be surprised at who else hears what you’re hearing. I found this out at my 20th college reunion—one of my best friends has had it since she was thirteen, and I didn’t know it until earlier this month. She did say quietly to me, “it is a loss,” but as a mother of four who is just publishing her first children’s book, she certainly has not let it get in the way of living a full life! I thought about our four years in college together, and how this was happening in the background the whole time without it seeming to affect her at all.
Realize that it’s just a sound—it’s not good or bad, it’s just neutral. You are in charge of any meaning you put to it. “It’s just a jingle.” It may be there as a friend to remind you to not be too complacent, and get out there and do everything you came into this life to do!
My story: I have always been sensitive to noise, and as a kid and young adult was always searching for quiet. I had a box of earplugs by my bed that I used often, but I could never seem to find the total quiet I was seeking. When I would read about tinnitus, I would think “that sounds like absolutely the worst thing that could happen to anyone,” and shudder. In 2001, at age 37, when my ears began to ring, my worst fear had come true. I completely freaked out and could not accept for the longest time that this had happened. My physical condition at the time would not allow me to take any kind of antidepressant or antianxiety medication, so I had to get creative in learning how to deal with this. I’ve always been good at adapting to situations, but this really tested me. However, eight years later, it really doesn’t bother me (except when I’m sick and take cold medicine—for some reason that makes the ringing so loud it is almost piercing and painful. So my life with tinnitus is hardly perfect!) My family and friends, I have to say, were not incredibly supportive or understanding when I told them I had tinnitus. It seemed like a problem that they could not relate to, and so many did things like say they were going to research cures for tinnitus but then never got back to me about it. A friend’s mother who suffers from it was help—anyone else who has it is helpful, but it can be very hard for others to relate. I was pretty much left on my own to figure out how to deal with it, and in the beginning this was quite a challenge. I hope these coping strategies I’ve developed will help others. I’m putting this on the Internet in the hope that it will be there for someone who might be panicking the way I was when this first hit. It’s not the end of the world, and life really does get better. One gift of tinnitus is that it strengthens your “focus” muscles. After a while, you really do learn to tune it out.
Neuromonics made me worse. I gave it a fair shot for more than 6 months, but I could never really tolerate it, even for as little as 30 minutes on the lowest level, as it has the effect of increasing my tinnitus and hyperacusis and misophonia / phonophobia. After exposure to sound, I basically have to spend at least ten days doing absolutely nothing but laying in bed all day, waiting for sleep. After about two weeks of doing nothing, the tinnitus and hyperacusis eventually abate to the point where I can at least get up and walk around the house without feeling electric shocks across my temples at every footstep. I warned my audiologist before ordering the Neuromonics processor that my hyperacusis has the “kindling” effect, but she seemed not to really understand what that is. ARRRGH! Now I’m $5,500.00 poorer, and the owner of a four track sound generator that I can neither listen to, nor resell, nor get any kind of refund on.
I should mention that my hearing problems are likely secondary to anxiety, which is only reinforced now that I have severe hyperacusis and phonophobia. It’s a catch-22. Wearing the noise generators was like sticking icepicks into my ears. I put up with this extra pain because I was desperate to try anything but now I’m convinced of how little audiologists understand, even those who put the word “hyperacusis” in the name of their clinic.
hi
i have a very loud tinnitus
and i want to die
I’ve had tinnitus for about 2-3 years. Not sure what caused it, but one day it was there and it’s been my constant companion since. At times I feel like screaming because it’s so loud. Other times it’s manageable. However, it’s always with me. Background noise seems to help the most. I often fear the possibility of going deaf and still experiencing tinnitus. No question I would go nuts at that stage. Right now I’m coping, but man it’s a pain.
I too think the end is near at times for myself I have two sounds in my head the phantom ringing sounds like stereo high pitch an low high pitch.
ever since I had been hit in my head with a forty pound case of liquer from 14 feet high
I wish it would have done me in,My world has been torn apart by non sleep and verdigo
and my legs have been giving out my persuit of happyness is over and now I feel I am just here for no reason but to carry this sound in my head, peolpe talk about monkey on the back that aint shit compared to this.
nothing seems to be fun anymore or interesting just chasing my tail for an answer thats it.
Hello all: I was touched deeply by some of the comments. I, too, have tinnitus in BOTH ears at two different frequencies. I have put together a free tinnitus masking MP3 download here: virtualdreamer.com . I don\’t even ask your email or name. Its my personal cause to always provide a free masking download. Try it, and I hope it helps.
Read number 23 again, and again, and again. I too suffered as Paul described and many of you have described in this blog. The hope that I would offer is what I hold on to. I mask my tinnitus, I monitor my eating, I exercise, I am mindful of medications I take, I am a member of ATA (American Tinnitus Association), I am beginning a support group in my area. I am focused on being proactive. The dark days of suffering and feeling traumatized are tangible to me, but I choose to focus on moving forward, hope if far better than desperation.
Jim’s blog #23 is worth reading and applying to your own life. It’s as simple as choosing but constant minute by minute work. You may need a good therapist to help you sift through and find light to get there. Please do this. Tinnitus may seem like torture, but there IS another way, your life IS STILL YOURS, tinnitus is only a PART it is not the whole thing. Think of all the other parts of your life and you’ll find that compared to the tinnitus it’s wonderful and blessed. Shift your focus, find you hope and move toward it.
Paul, Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am so depressed over my tinnitus, but I constantly read your story and it gives me hope and the spiritual force to continue on. Thanks to for all those who share their thoughts. We are so close to finding real help and cures for this problem. Thanks for helping me hold on until that day. Sherri
I have had tinnitus for just about 3 years. The first one and a half to two years absolutely crushed my life. I didn’t do anything, dropped out of college and stayed in a room all day. I was depressed, crying all the time, feeling awful.
Now by now I am no means cured, but here is how I dealt with it and am able to be a somewhat normal person again (though i’m not really normal to begin with). I avoid ALL things loud, I don’t go out to bars, I don’t go to parties, I don’t listen to loud music. That stuff is GONE. I got better by relaxing on the computer, constantly playing background music, I just picked a song with a constant beat and play it in the background (still do it, doing it right now, and will do it until i’m dead). In the car, on the computer, all the time. Also, I love playing videogames and talking to people on the internet using voice chat software. So my mind was on tinnitus as little as possible. Tinnitus is like someone said up there, neutral, it’s not bad it’s no good. Do not have negative feelings towards it.
So basically, I played videogames and talked to my friends online for about two years without doing ANYTHING stressful. This sounds horrible to most of you i’m sure, but it was so relaxing and fun to me. I was able to return to school as a full time student, I am driving again and slowly rebuilding my life one step at a time. I’m very lucky my parents are understanding.
I hope you guys can use this information in some ways for yourself. The most important thing you need to do: DO something at all times, preferably something you find fun (in my case, computer games and talking to friends with voicechat software). I REALLY suggest finding something fun to do on the computer and listening to soft mp3’s. Listen to the same soft mp3(s) while sleeping, in your car etc. Watch basketball, watch UFC, watch documentaries, learn another language online, watch movies every single goddamn day. JUST DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE, do not DWELL on it, just LIVE and avoid loud noise and you will be fine. Have loads of stuff you like to do lined up whenever possible, and DO THEM, don’t just sit around feeling like crap, I did that for about 6 months, it wasn’t good at all.
Good luck to everybody.
(note: I listened to the same song for about a year non-stop, never on headphones though, it basically replaced tinnitus for me
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Hi everyone
I have tinnitus now for two years. I went to a ear nose and that doctor and was given test, it was noted that I have Moderate high frequency hearing loss in both ears. Then he sent me to an audiologist to have more test done. After all the testing that was done, there was no follow up visit by the doctor. Because in this world of get you in and get you out of the office, I felt I was not going to get the help I needed and I was at a dead end. It’s no wonder why people with this condition what to commit suicide because there is no doctor and patient confidentiality. The first thing that is said when you have tinnitus is go see a doctor, why have they help any body with this condition. You spend the money and you keep the tinnitus. I may suffer with this but what I have learned for myself is that going to an ear specialist is a complete wast of money to a cause that can’t be cured. And I don’t believe they will find a cure for this condition, just like cancer we made very little progress in 50 years if any. It sucks period!!!
Hang on to what makes you smile.I have a747 in my left ear and I am just hanging on to what makes me smile.My eight year old son.My glass blowing and some Dead music.I’m 41 and I hope to make it to 42.bless us all and just hang on and thanks to all who have posted here.
I stopped by a friend’s house one night and left shortly thereafter because the music suddenly became so loud that it started to shake the house. That was over a year ago and my ears haven’t stopped ringing. It’s maddening. I suffer from chronic back pain along with a couple of other health issues and am having trouble dealing with the tinnitus on top of it all. Although it was unintentional, I have a lot of anger towards the people that inflicted this upon me. One of them already had tinnitus and the other one somehow escaped it.
I can’t offer any solutions or optimism, but I appreciate the opportunity to communicate with people who understand the severity of this cruel condition. I hope you all find strength!
I got severe tinnitus about 3 years ago from shooting guns my entire life. Because of it I was no longer able to study and had to leave school, no longer shoot and hunt for fear of it becoming worse (which sucks cause i have always worked as a hunting guide, cant be around anything loud even with earplugs in (such as bars) because it wil make it so bad the next several days i dont even want to get out of bed. Tinnitus destroyed my life. I figure when i eventually go deaf in 10 years it will be even louder, and at that point i dont want to be alive anymore!
Hello all – I have suffered from severe tinnitus for 7 years. Initially started by antibiotics for a bone infection, it was made MUCH worse by treatment in a barometric chamber after a doctor thought I suffered from the bends after diving (turned out to be wrong). The high-pitched 3-tone 12khz (or so) air-raid siren in my head is bilateral and 2-3x louder than normal conversation sound levels. Acupuncture, biofeedback, cranial sacral work, electric stimulation, massage, TRT (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy) at Oregon Health Sciences University, Hearing aids, musician’s earplugs, homeopathic treatments, anti-anxiety drugs, SSRI drugs (Paxil), meditation, alcohol have all failed me. Pot helps to sleep and the only thing that works well for me is to immerse myself in hard thinking or hard exercise (mountain climbing\hard hiking). I think it has something to do with endorphins, but I am not yet knowledgeable enough. I am also attempting to mix my own masking sound tapes, but sometimes more noise causes more hyperacusis pain, so it’s fine tuning. Hang in there all … and keep searching. I believe we will each find something that helps us. Please keep sharing. Peace to you all – Jim
I wish I could say I feel encouraged after reading this, but I don’t. I first got it over 20 years ago but in the last ten years it has gotten almost unbearable. I try to accept it but then resent that I have to put all my energy into accepting something so annoying. Suicide is always an option I keep in the back of my mind, its comforting to know that if I really can’t stand it anymore, I can end it with the pull of a trigger. I won’t do it until my son is old and off on his own. I will probably discuss it with him first. I know he’ll understand he’s watched me suffer for years.
I have a good friend that committed suicide last month. He was a healthy, strong, life-loving man but got tinnitus 3 years ago after being too close to an explosion. He went to many specialists, tried lots of different treatments & seemed to be do well. The last time I saw him this past January, he was a wreck – I had never seen him this way. He was so agitated, said he was worried about losing his job, that people were trying to wreck his career. He also said his tinnitus was bothering him badly again. When he left, he was crying. I was so worried & talked to him on the phone a few times – he did not sound well, but the last time I spoke with him at the beginning of April, he sounded more animated, more like himself, & he told me he felt better. Two weeks after that, I saw his death notice in the paper – it said he died “suddenly.” I found out later he had committed suicide. His family said he had been withdrawn, worried about his job & thought peole were after him, but no one suspected he would end his life. Everyone close to him is devastated My question is can tinnitis affect a person’s brain enough to make them feel paranoid, even though they had never been that way before? Or affect your brain in other ways?
The short answer is “yes” tinnitus can affect a person’s brain and make them feel paranoid. However, it’s not as cut and dry as that.
I know first hand the effects that tinnitus can have because, I have suffered severely because of it. Depression, anxiety and frustration go hand in hand with tinnitus. How does this happen? My belief is much deeper than saying it’s a brain thing. In fact, I believe that it is tied to energy. Everyone’s bodies are made up of cells, which are made up of molecules, which are made up of atoms, which are made up of sub-atomic particles which are pure energy.
Because everything in the universe is energy – when our thoughts (which are also energy) turn negative it starts to infect everything around us. Our position in life, our friends, our family and our life situations in general. It’s the law of attraction at work. Like energies attract. Because your friends thoughts had turned completely negative he started to attract even more negative situations to him.
I have seen this many many times amongst tinnitus sufferers. It is quite common in fact. Unless the individual who is suffering, finds the strength to focus on positive things in their lives, they will eventually attract death, whether it’s by suicide or by illness. Tinnitus can kill. But, only if you let it.
Because there are as many neurons in the brain as there are start in the universe, it is a relatively simple thing to disrupt the flow of energy between these neurons. When you disrupt the energy due to a focus on negative situations and circumstances you will attract more of the same because that’s the energy your brain is emanating. It will continuously attract worse and worse situations because of the energy that is flowing outward.
While this may sound somewhat spiritual in nature, it is. My belief says that “until you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will not change.”
So, your friend couldn’t change his focus and he kept attracting more and more negative life situations. He couldn’t see his way clear and he attracted himself right into suicide. I was almost there a few short years ago. I was given guidance in the laws of the universe and I turned my life around. I am so sorry for your loss and wish you and his family the best in the coming years.
Paul Tobey
Hey Everyone I have got Tinnitus from trying an Anti-Depressant Citalopram(Celexa)
7 days 10mg got ear ringing right away thought it would go away, then day 8 and 9 20mg and it went sky high
doctor told me its a common side effect and i stopped right away
its been 3 months now although its reduced, its still there maybe sooner or later it will subside but its pure hell on earth, i have lost many nights of sleep and have hit rock bottom, i keep trying to pick myself up but its hard.
if anyone can help me out or tell me how they got it from an anti-depressant and how long it took to go away…i hear some say 6 months to a year even
im on 3 months….please email me sane(underscore)88athotmail.com
I’ve had Tinnitus on and off in both of my ears for about five months now…My left ear is a low tone while my right ear is a horrid high-pitched ringing. For awhile I relied on my ipod and a few good white noise and ambient apps to help me sleep- in fact I’m still relying on them to help me sleep, but recently the Tinnitus has gotten louder in my right ear- loud enough so that the ipod becomes useless as far as masking sometimes. I have heard that some people’s tinnitus goes away after a few years while some people are stuck with theirs forever. I have been experiencing horrible thoughts because of the Tinnitus and I am unsure of what to do. I have already come to terms with the fact that I may never have a silent sleep ever again, but what I need to know is how to make sleeping a little easier. Do sleeping pills help? Or do the side-effects make the Tinnitus worse? I heard mixed stories involving cannabis and tinnitus where some people are saying it helps, whereas some say it made theirs worse. Are there any more options?